★★★ WELCOME 2 THE OFFICIAL TEDDY BIRTHDAY EXPERIENCE ★ U R VISITOR #000001 ★ PLEASE SIGN THE GUESTBOOK ★ BEST VIEWED IN INTERNET EXPLORER 6 AT 800x600 ★ NO REFUNDS ★ TEDDY A.K.A. TEDDUS A.K.A. DR. TRELLA A.K.A. SMALLOBALLO ★★★

🎉 🎊 ✨ 🎂 ✨ 🎊 🎉

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TEDDY!!!1!

aka Teddus aka Dr. Trella aka Smalloballo

🎈 🎁 🎈 🎁 🎈

W E L C O M E, Teddy. Also known as Teddus. Also known as Dr. Trella. Also known as Smalloballo.

Today the entire internet (this page) gathers to celebrate the single most IMPORTANT event in recorded human history: YOUR BIRTHDAY. Balloons have been ordered. They did not arrive. But the thought is here, rendered just for you.

Manufactured in 1996, you are officially 30 YEARS OLD today - that is THREE WHOLE DECADES, or roughly 10,958 days of being this magnificent - and, according to our records, exactly 0% wiser. Congratulations, legend. 👑

🎂

UNWRAPPING PROTOCOL 🔒

The present is heavily encrypted in premium wrapping paper. Complete ALL SECURITY STEPS to continue. Do not close this window or the present may explode.^*

💾 Downloading present.exeX

Connecting to gift server (56k)...

0% complete - estimated time remaining: 4 years

(the server is powered by one hamster. click faster.)

*present will not actually explode. legal made us say that. it might.

✨✨✨ PRESENT UNLOCKED ✨✨✨

🎁 A DIGITAL CARD 🎁

Happy Birthday, Teddy.

This website is your gift.
Honestly, what did you expect?!

… ok fine. It also comes with THIS 👇

Swensen's

GIFT CARD

ONE (1) FREE DISH redeemable for literally one dish. yes, dessert counts.

TERMS & CONDITIONS:
● Valid ONLY in person at a Swensen's in Thailand. 🇹🇭
● Must be redeemed together with Jan AND Saai physically present. No Jan, no dish. No Saai, no dish.
● Must be presented PHYSICALLY - not digital. Print it or it doesn't count.
● Non-transferable. No cash value. No screenshots. Nice try.
● Bearer must be Teddy (aka Teddus aka Dr. Trella aka Smalloballo).
● Expires: whenever we feel like it. Probably never. Maybe tomorrow.

CARD No. TEDDY-1996-SWNSN-30

See? A real gift. We're not monsters.

print it, bring it, redeem it. trust us, it's not a virus 😁